


Grandpa Peter

by AwkwardBlueKitty



Series: Interesting/Random Conversations [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mentions of Scott and Isaac, Stiles is totally the 'mom' in the pack, creepy Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-25
Updated: 2012-08-25
Packaged: 2017-11-12 21:46:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/495977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardBlueKitty/pseuds/AwkwardBlueKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pure dialogue between Stiles and Peter Hale. Short. Mentions of Sterek. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grandpa Peter

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of my 'Interesting/Random Conversations' series. Although you don't have to read them in order at all, they're all pretty much standalone stories. They're all just stories with nothing but dialogue between two characters. So yeah....enjoy Sterek and a little bit of Scisaac mentions!
> 
> Bold words is Peter talking and the non-bold words is Stiles talking.

“ _Holy shit,_ can you not sneak up on me like that, dude! It’s just creepy and really, um, creepy. You shouldn’t be creeping in front of a high school by the way. People are going to get the wrong idea.”

**“I came here to talk to you, Stiles.”**

“Yeah, I gather that much. Unless you enjoy scaring people…oh, wait. Are you sure you’re not here to scare little children, Peter?”

**“I don’t enjoy scaring little children, despite what you all might think.”**

“Well, that’s good to hear. So why are you stalking me?”

**“I’m not stalking you, Stiles.”**

“Good, because I think Derek would have a cow if you started invading his turf. Only he can stalk me.”

**“You don’t mind my nephew stalking you?”**

“Nope, he’s freaking hot! I mean, have you seen him? Actually wait, please don’t check out Derek because that’s just gross and wrong…really gross and wrong. And he’s taken by me so yeah.”

**“Stiles.”**

“Yeah? What can I help you with? Not that I’m going to do it. I first have to hear it and then discuss it with Derek and the pack.”

**“I don’t think you’re good enough for my nephew. You should stop seeing him.”**

“I don’t think you’re good enough to be Derek’s uncle. But you don’t see me stalking you at your retirement home, do you?”

**“Do you know how easy it would be to hide your body?”**

“Please, if you do anything to me, _anything_ , my pack will rip out your throat and play with your carcass. Oh man, I’m having a visual here and it makes me want to throw up! Blah! So do yourself a favor and drop the whole threatening you stuff.”

**“You really think Derek’s pack will do that?”**

“Of course, they will. I’m the ‘mom’ in the pack while Derek is the ‘dad’. The rest of the pack are our cubs. We even have family dinners sometimes.”

**“All of you actually sit down at the dinner table? To eat? Together?”**

“Yup. It’s almost like the Brady Bunch when I think about it. I mean Derek brought Erica, Isaac and Boyd into the family and I brought Scott, Lydia, Jackson, and Allison. Oh, Jackson is so the Marcia in our pack! Isaac and Scott are my babies even though Derek keeps telling me they’re big boys. I can’t help it, they’re too precious. Well, they’re not that precious when I walk in on them screwing each other. There are just some things a mother should not see their children do. You know what I mean?”

**“Scott and Isaac? I thought Scott is with Alli-you know what? I don’t want to know. Although I can tell you’re serious…about all of you being a family together.”**

“That’s because we are. And you can join us, if you like. But I’m telling you right now, you are NOT allowed to be the creepy uncle in our pack. I will rip off your balls if you creep on any of my cubs. Just try me.”

**“Then why extend an invitation to me?”**

“I don’t think you’re all _that_ bad. Yeah you’re creepy, dark, frown a lot, intimidating, and other stuff but Derek was kinda like that in the beginning too. I’m asking you if you want in on our pack.”

**“I don’t think Derek would let m-”**

“Don’t worry about Derek, do you want in?”

**“I……I wouldn’t mind being a part of your pack. But if Derek says ‘no’ then please respect his wishes. I won’t blame him if he doesn’t want me there.”**

“Dude, if I thought for a second Derek didn’t want you in our pack, I wouldn’t offer you to join us. Besides, Derek does want you involve in his life.”

**“He does?”**

“Yeah, at first it was really hard to get him to talk in the beginning of our relationship. He would always just grunt or growl at me. But I’m awesome, so awesome in fact that I got Derek to open up to me. He’s mentioned you a few times. Not all of it being bad.”

**“Thank you, Stiles.”**

“No problem. I’ll let you know the verdict or I guess Derek will. By the way, you don’t honestly think I’m not good enough for Derek…do you? And I don’t think you’re a crappy uncle. Not the best but not the crappiest.”

**“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen my nephew smile. I just wanted to know what you would have done if I threatened you to leave Derek. For being a human, you have a thick backbone as well as a mouth on you. It’s no wonder you’ve gotten Derek to talk. Overall you’re my nephew’s mate and a good one at that.”**

“Cool, cool. I appreciate that. I really do. What can I say besides I’m totally awesome? Say this Saturday, I’m making lasagna. Do you like lasagna?”

**“Homemade?”**

“Duh! I only feed my pack the best. So should I put an extra chair at the table? And by the way, don’t poke fun at our mismatch chairs. Each of them has a character to them like the people who sit on them. I’ll be sure to get a rocking chair for you.”

**“I’m not that old, Stiles.”**

“Whatever you say, grandpa. Oh! You can be the ‘grandpa’ in our pack!”


End file.
